Oil: "Ugh. I Threw Paper!" Avs: [shrug] "I Threw A Rock."

The Game: Avs at Oilers

The title is a reference to a Budweiser commercial, useful only for the purposes of tonight's game commentary, and not for persuading me to drink the product. I might if this was still Bud's ad campaign, though:



Can't imagine why they scrapped that gem. Anyhow, the whole allusion is merely to demonstrate that by winning by such a large margin against the Oilers at home tonight, after such a devastating losing streak and their official elimination from the playoffs, the Avs have added insult to injury.

Three weeks ago, it looked like we would be weeping and gnashing our teeth here in Denver, too. Luckily, things have looked up. But I, for one, empathize with the Oil to an extent, and really don't relish kicking a man while he's down. Unless that man is a Red Wing.

That said, sorry Oilers. Sakic will probably send a fruit basket or something when this is all over. And it may yet be that someone kidnapped the team and replaced them with the Tulsa Oilers. This is all a big misunderstanding, and your guys are really threshing wheat in Oklahoma.

Pregame, Liles refutes McNab's assertion that he is the "Quarterback of the power play." He admits to bringing the puck down the ice, and being able to read what's going on in front of the net. Having not seen Liles play much before his foot injury, I've often found myself wondering what the buzz was about. While he was out, Skrastins was the guy who kept the puck in the zone. And he did it well. Not really a goal scorer so much, but attentive. I'm looking forward to seeing them both on the ice again.

Kyle Keefe interviews Arnason while he moves snow around with a front-end loader. Arn likes country music. Damn. But the interview on the whole was better than when Keefe took Turgeon to Coors Brewery, where Pierre confessed that he doesn't like beer, and Keefe proceeded to ask him whether or not he used shampoo.

Within five minutes, the Avs are up by 2. Lappy (assisted by Arnason) and Sakic.

Altitude Network is broadcasting live from Jackson's, a bar in Westminster. At Intermission, commentator Blake Olson is flanked by Coors girls. When asked what prizes were up for grabs tonight, one of the girls, teeth and abs gleaming, proudly proclaims: "A Jose Theodore signed stick and jersey!"

*cricket...cricket*

Laperriere and Arnason score again in the 2nd, and Arnason is rewarded for the assist not only with a point, but with a nice juicy kiss from "the nose." Liles scores on the power play. Wolski has a good chance, but there's a mess at the net, and one of the Oilers (couldn't see his jersey) gets in his face. Wolski just shakes his head. He's a lover, I guess. Clark, and Bruno with his second assist, make it 5-0.

At second Intermission, watching clips from the Sabres game, I am totally jealous of their announcer. GOOOOOOOAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLL! He's very...rock opera. Maybe this guy is moonlighting:



Thoresen scores a short handed goal which proves to be the Oil's only. Lappy gets in a fight, which is almost as good as a hat trick. Can't that be the "Lappy Hat Trick?" I guess realistically the Lappy Hat Trick would be three fights.

FINAL

Avs 5
Oilers 1

Best Friends Forever!

--Satanella