The Name(s) of the Game Vol. 1

A brief perusal of team rosters afforded me this list of players with mildly amusing names. When I know more about them, perhaps others' monikers will prove as ironic. One has to question whether one's name has any influence over one's career choice, etc. And I don't mean in the football way where people name their kid "Touchdown" or something.

Gotta start with the Avs. Newly called Finger, for example. Talk about a name that comes with complimentary torture. I'm sure there's nothing he hasn't heard. But I hope he doesn't mind that I will be one of possibly two people shouting "Give 'em the Finger!" at the Pepsi Center. And recently aquired Wall. A goalie named Wall? Or a Wall destined for goaltending? We'll see.

Snout: You can never bring in a wall. What say you, Bottom?

Bottom: Some man or other must present Wall: and let him have some plaster, or some loam, or some roughcast about him, to signify Wall; and let him hold his fingers thus, and through that cranny shall Pyramus and Thisby whisper.

A Midsummer Night's Dream. My favorite. And Wall will probably grow loam, whatever the hell that is, before Budaj gives him occasion to play.

Next, the Blue Jackets' Jason Chimera. First thought: Mission Impossible II. Way to be a virus. Better: mythical monster circa Homer's Iliad, "a thing of immortal make, not human, lion-fronted and snake behind, a goat in the middle, and snorting out the breath of the terrible flame of bright fire." Cool.

Oiler Marty Reasoner's name is really only funny when you juxtapose the intellectual connotation with his picture:



Ooh. Not his brightest-looking moment.

The Wild has a promising "Player in the System" by the name of Clayton Stoner. From what I understand, whether or not he ends up in the NHL depends largely on the brownies.

As a matter of course, I am partial to Islander Miroslav Satan. Again, it's got to be old for him. But it's new to me! Muahahaha...

Finally, there's the Flyers' Simon Gagne. Everyone probably knows this already, but this one is another example of a name predicting the future of its owner. Conjugating gagner or "to win" in French, one arrives at "gagne" in "je gagne," or "I win," and "il/elle gagne," or "he/she wins." No pressure, though. Geez.

Best Friends Forever!

--Satanella